Sex sells really well in Kenya. The sex toy business has reported an increase in sales volume, and so are those who sell their pussies directly to the members of the public. There is always a demand for hot escort girls and street hookers who can give out their nunu (Vagina) for your pleasure. All that matters is whether or not you’re willing to pay for it.
Now, since this website begun discussing the adult entertainment industry a couple of years ago, it have always concentrated on matters pertaining to sex in the city. I have also mentioned adult shops that sell sex toys in Kenya and how the city is thriving in that business. But as you can see, all these things are too hidden from the average person that hears them and never sets out in an adventure to discover them.
It still shocks me when guys ask me of directions to places where they can get laid in the city. Imagine these places are everywhere. They are just hidden from plain site due to the nature of business that goes down there. You must have the courage of a lion to dig deeper to find them, especially if you’re into sampling the generally hotter side of the Kenyan female specie.
But still, some men do prefer to call up escorts rather than try to wander along the streets in search for sex. In most parts of the world, it is generally perceived safe to hire an escort for this purpose — although this might not always be true in Kenya.
This reminds me of one specific case where a man was robbed clean of his house belongings as a result of inviting a criminal into his house in disguise of an escort.
Apparently, such cases do happen at the end of the month when most guys are loaded. This bastard went on to have ”fun” at an infamous joint called Relax Inn.This is one of the many culprit joints in town that operate in the full knowledge of authorities. Other joints of similar caliber include Calabash (in the same hall as Relax Inn), Good Hope, Kitale, etc.
I know most of you know where Relax Inn is. But just in case you don’t, then use Accra road and head down to Mash Bus station. Towards your left (just before reaching Equity Bank Accra road), you will see a street that leads to Spanish Bus station and all the other bus companies that have offices there. Just walk a few meters and take the third entranced on your right hand-side.
You can never miss this entrance since it has a long dimly lit staircase that climbs a few feet to the hall where the pub is located.
It’s generally a cheap place so to speak. You can immediately see it by the dressing of most revelers who come here. Apart from that, you can also see that most people take Kegg, a cheap beer that sells for Ksh50 or $0.5 and is served in plastic cups.
Besides this, Relax Inn is sort of dirty, and is below the standards of most pubs in Nairobi. I once set foot there and didn’t like the smell of heavy, chocking cigarette smoke and stale beer that hit my nose. Unfortunately, smoking is the order of the day here because the management doesn’t care. Most decent hangout joints don’t allow clients to smoke. If they do, they provide a special smoking zone where the smoker can’t interfere with other clients. Finally, the characters of those who drink in this place is very questionable. Some of them look like outright criminals.
And now the ladies: what’s their rating?
Relax Inn and other sub-par hangout joints operating along that street off Accra road are not the best places to spend time at. Unless you want to explore and find out on your own, I don’t vouch for these pubs, and especially if you are a foreigner.
Although I know of a Mzungu who stays in this pub because he has rented one of the rooms on the second floor of the premises, I would be hesitant to recommend this place to a foreigner.
First of all, chances are that you will get robbed if you walk along the street while drunk at night. And obviously the second threat is the ladies who sell their flesh here.
In terms of beauty, I can rate them 5 out of a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the hottest in the scale and 1 being the ugliest. Generally speaking, most ladies here are below the average in the looks department. The hottest ones can be counted, and they barely reach 4.
This place has always suffered a setback which has ended up tainting its reputation. The drug menace is one reason why I loath it!
Bastards get their drinks spiked with sleep-inducing drugs which they call Mchele. So next time you hear that word, be suspicious because you are generally not safe even if you hangout on the more decent up market bars/brothels. And it’s even a big gamble picking a lady at Relax Inn with the intention of taking her to your crib. Chances are that she will rob your house clean.
Of course am not saying that every lady you pick there is a thief. All am saying is that you never know. Most of these ladies have been conditioned by street life. All they can think of is drinking and sleeping with men for money. This nature of living has caused them to develop some sort of mental toughness and bitterness in their hearts. Most of them will not show mercy because that part of their instinct died long ago.
Now, in that context, one can conclude that picking a girl here for a long night fucking session is like gambling on sport pesa. If you are lucky, you will enjoy the experience. If you’re not, then chances are that you will wake up to an empty house after hours of continuous sleep.
To this end, I want to give you one rule of thumb that you must live by at all times.
I know that men are adventurous creatures who will travel miles just to explore and probably ascertain what am saying here.
Now, if you are that kind of creature, make sure that you are not kissing just any Tom, Dick and Harry. She might trick you when both of you are ”drunk”. You’re the one who will always get drunk by the way. It’s the ultimate plan, and no matter how many beers you buy, she will drink and throw it up in the washroom. If she senses that she is about to get hi anyways, she will take plenty of water, or better still, strike a deal with the waiter so that she can secretly have her drinks replaced with money.
This issue of kissing a girl at places with poor reputation has to stop if you want to be safe. These hookers have perfected the art of drugging men using their mouths. She will either spike your drink while you are on a quick dash to the toilet. But if that does not work, she will put a little bit of that substance in her mouth or lip, then she will pretend to kiss you. This way, you can’t escape swallowing the substance. You know what I mean? Refraining from swallowing this substance is an art mastered by women in the skin trade.