Dear Lost Love,
It is with perfect knowledge that i should not be writing letters at this hour because am stealing company time and resources with every key stroke i hit.
My love for you is extremely colossal, intense, not judgmental, full of passion……..all the words and phrases i am Googling right now cannot describe this feeling, i hope you see this!
When you read the title of this post, you were thinking about sex…..i know, so please don’t attempt to deny it!
Anyway, sex is not a sin, especially when we look at it critically. Perhaps we owe a lot to this segment of the house, the bedroom. You were made in one…i don’t know where. Then you also made your children inside one, perhaps a rented one! This cycle is viscous, don’t you agree?
Okay, i really didn’t know what i wanted to achieve when i thought of this title………Meuni, and I inside the Bedroom! Am absolutely clueless.
Anyway, this segment of the house can be used for a variety of purposes, say relax, sleep, work out, and most importantly…..coit or coinhabit, if you know what I mean!
Let’s move on!
I shall stray a bit from the title, but listen up ladies and gentlemen…..this is very important as far as making babies is concerned. The theory is about making the kind of babies you want, even before you decide to do so.
Now, look at this word…coit. If coitus is a noun, then i should assume that coit is a verb…. a doing word!
For instance, if you want the child to become a teacher, you should try coiting on a teacher’s table……in a staffroom or somewhere. (I will use the words coit and coiting many times, so better get used to them)
And if you really have a passion for your child to become a chief chef, try coiting on the KITCHEN COUNTERTOP……I hope you’re seeing where this is going!
Then if you want a ”weider” or just a pumped up child, try coiting inside your local gym…….i mean, give them a future from the word GO!
Is your child giving you shit or hell on earth? Reflect backwards on your coiting circumstances under which you got him or her. Was it in a booth or toilet?
Go back in time…….that man you met at a night club, when he whispered sweet nothings into your ears so that you could not wait to get home…..so you coited inside a toilet, i don’t know where! But I want you to think very hard!
Office romance!…… is as a result of many students graduating with a business degree.
And should you decide to coit in a police cell, chances are that you shall work off your ass so hard to bail your child of prison, for the rest of your life……you see where i am taking you?
This is just my theory, but you need to think about it though.
Okay, usually when i walk into my bedroom, i meet the reflection of me on the full length mirror directly opposite my bed. I can afford to make dance moves, say embarrassing dance moves that are not supposed to be made anywhere else!
I am that creative, so i will make my own beat most of the time and dance to it. If it gets so intense that my head cannot contain it, i remove my skirt, then G-string and throw them on the floor…….like a stripper at Lidos! AND BY THE WAY, WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS? I don’t even have a clue.
Anyway, just listen! Before i remove my skirt and under-garments, i take off my belt and swing it over my head. I almost hit my head yesterday when i attempted this imaginary move.
I don’t want to take this too far though, just in case someone is secretly watching. I know…..God is watching, and i don’t want to embarrass myself…….this is my usual routine, take off the jacket, then kick off the skirt and other things.
Then I see someone’s head on the other side of my bedroom window!
My bedroom is adjacent to a few courts, so it’s very common to see people’s heads passing by occasionally….though no one has seen me, i am so sure…or at least i want to console myself!
Ladies and Gentlemen! Here’s what am gonna do
I shall switch off the lights, then draw the curtains, only leaving a little space, where i can spy on the spy!
I notice the shadow of a lady…….i am so sure it’s a lady because of the wig on her head….not unless it’s a man in a woman’s weave or wig. I don’t want to imagine.
There’s so much brain processing taking place inside my head. Whoever this person is or was, for how long he/she has been watching me, i don’t know.
Could she threaten to leak these images or videos to the press……just in case i become a president in the near future?
At this point, i have no evidence, other than the figure of a woman with a wig on her head, or a man on a woman’s wig, staring at my most naked form while dancing.
From today onwards….i will start looking straight into the eyes of each one of you without blinking! If you laugh, i will know that you are the pervert who appeared in a wig, staring me while dancing. I will catch you….you know yourself!