Kencom Whore House!

Dear Sweet Medina,

I hate to be the first to send letters to you always……. ”It’s been a while since we communicated……and my heart can’t resist the urge to write you once again. ”I am begging you my love, for i know that true love never gives up.”

Now, this one is dedicated to the one and only Medina that i still love with all my heart.

”I once belonged to you alone…so i think!  You were my only soft brown chapati by X flour, and i was your prince charming all these days.


 

whoreAttention people of Nairobi and elsewhere!! I want to let you know that my letter to Medina ends here. I am in a terribly bad place. I feel like my heart is burning with fire, for i know not where or what my lovely brown chapati is doing right now,…..and that’s the problem!!

And by the way,  i also had promised to dedicate this post to another Whore….her name is Verah.

”Verah my love, i promised to give names to your two nameless but cute kittens….. I hereby dub your two kittens as Sir William Wallace and Lisa Sparxxx. I know people who go by those names are indeed famous and infamous in their own rights. May those two names come true!”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

Now that am done with that piece, i must confessed that am feeling relieved, ready to look for love elsewhere. I know some of you were waiting for a desperate housewife sex-like scenario. But am sorry because i won’t write about it today, perhaps someday when i find time. Be afraid not whomever is reading this.

Now i was thinking……..Why don’t we do a quick review of a whore house instead?? because i can almost detect smiles all over your faces, and it is my wish not to keep you waiting forever!

The other day i came from ”ocha”, i was dropped at Kencom bus station. I opted to alight here instead of going all the to Machakos Country-side,……oops, sorry, it’s Machakos country bus stage.

The problem is that i don’t know where my brother stays,  i only know that he lives in Githurai 44, and we had agreed to meet at Kencom because it was convenient for both of us. Another problem is that it is too early now, say 2pm, so i have a couple of hours to wait for him before he leaves work.

As i wait for him on the street-side makeshift waiting lounge……you know the ones where City Hoppas queue to pick commuters, a random man and an equally random woman whispers annoyingly behind me.

I must confess that their whispers are annoying indeed. I have no choice but to listen since my ears and there’s are adjacent due to the nature of our seating arrangement.

I must have heard something like this…….”SJ ina vitanda za chawa, kama ni huko, mi siendi..”


Could they be talking of something worth paying attention to?

Of course if you know the streets of Nairobi like the palm of your hands, or like i do, then you definitely know that they are talking about a whore house situated somewhere in Eureka house.

And by any chance you don’t know SJ or where Eureka is, you are a good kid…….but if you do, shut up your big mouth and listen…….i know you wanted to interrupt me as if you know better than what i want to tell you!

Anyway, SJ is a famous whore house at Kencom… i have done my research and also been there, i think twice.. This is where i first did my economics assignment when i bargained for sexy punda.

Back to the couple’s whispers

Hatukai sana, ki one touch tu, kisha twende zetu..” Don’t ask me the meaning of that because i don’t know the English translation for this.

Si leo aki”… the woman replies doubting her statement.

Hatukai sana baby”….. so man X says to woman Y as he leads her towards the entrance of SJ.

 

Walk with me….i work for EABL, so i supply SJ with beer these days. My colleague was supposed to do this job, but apparently, he didn’t show up for work today, perhaps he was not feeling well.

SJ has a stair wheel, roughly 50 steps into the pub. This place has since changed man! I guess it’s because of the world cup effect.

There’s a window strategically facing the bar, written with big letters ”CONDOMS”!

These ladies want to sleep with me for money, and so they confidently make me aware of this fact. They whisper statistics in my ears…..soo nne, tatu, chwani, rwabe and so forth. IT IS A BIT SHITTY HERE!

You see, am on the job. I have come here to collect brand statistics. But here’s a situation where i collect the numbers and stay!! I obviously must see how it works.

I lady walks straight towards me and asks without blinking an eye……unapewa?

Mark you, i need to learn the whole process, so i ask as if i have been here every night for the last 25 years…..a pro indeed.

”Mangapi shot?” ”Dree hundred!!” She’s a Kikuyu lady, very beautiful but no so educated.

NOW PEOPLE OF NAIROBI AND ELSEWHERE, WHAT AM ABOUT TO DO RIGHT NOW IS A COMPLETE TEST OF LIFE AND DEATH!

The girl walks me to the tiny window facing the bar. She shouts to the pale lady behind the counter….”Room, Fanya haraka, customer amenyonji”

A receipt is issues, together with some durex condoms and tissue paper, which i had unknowingly paid for. Remember the ”dre hundred”?

”Kuja”, she says as i follow her the entire length of corridor filled with not so decent beings. Something tells me to stop. She notices and asks, ”Hautombwi?”

There’s something chilling about a whore asking you this question while looking you straight in the eye…..i fear for my life.

I come back to my senses, back off and run down the stairs so fast, even forgetting to collect ”brand statistics”. I am shaking everywhere, plus it’s now 6pm. There was no way of telling time when you’re inside SJ, the whore house!

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